noobsoccerfandomcom-20200215-history
Noob Soccer
Noob Soccer is the official name of the domestic association football league at Sacred Heart College in Adelaide, South Australia. Founded in 2009, it is comprised of two teams that play matches on a daily basis. Currently in its second season, Noob Soccer is held over the Australian winter, beginning in April and continuing until the weather conditions are deemed too hot by the majority of players. Unlike most conventional football league systems, Noob Soccer is not run by a governing body, such as the Football Federation of South Australia, it is largely player-based, with most of the decisions being made by the members of the two teams. Champions and premiers Players Marquee player The Twats recently recruited Adelaide United FC youth player Nick Munro, who is currently loaned to the Noobs. While the transfer fee for Munro has remained undisclosed, it is rumored that several pizza scrolls from the Sacred Heart College canteen were exchanged for his services and experience. Professionals Despite Noob Soccer being the highest tier of football at Sacred Heart, not all of the players are members of a club or represent the college. Format There are only two teams in Noob Soccer, the Noobs and the Twats. Each team can have any amount of players, generally ranging from 7 - 20. Despite being the most succesful club in Noob Soccer, the Noobs usually have lower numbers than the Twats, who average 15 players per game. Matches are contested every lunchtime: 1:15 pm - 1:40 pm on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays; 12:20 pm - 12:45 pm on Wednesdays and Fridays. Rules Each match is 25 minutes long, and unlike other football matches, are not split into two halves. The Noob Soccer playing field, a neutral ground for both the Noobs and the Twats, is near the southern-most end of the Sacred Heart College Main Oval. The two teams do not switch sides at any stage during a match, or indeed at all during a season. The Noobs always kick west towards the beach, and the Twats east towards the main school buildings. Noob Soccer has various distinguishing features from other football competitions. For one, there are no boundary lines, so the ball does not "go out". However, when a goal is scored, the scoring team generally has the courtesy to pass the ball to the opposition to take a goal kick. Determining a win There are several ways to determine the winner of a Noob Soccer fixture, however draws are occasionally witnessed, although not often occurrences. As it is with all football competitions, a match will be won by a team if they score more goals than the other team. If the scores are level by the end of the 25 minutes, the bell does not necessarily indicate the end of the match. Similar to the golden goal system, the next goal wins rule allows the teams to battle it out until a goal is scored - the goal scorer's team becoming the winner on the day. This should not be confused with the extra time system used by most other football competitions in finals systems. Next goal wins will continue until: * A goal is scored * A staff member orders the players off the pitch * The goalposts (usually blazers, jumpers or shoes) are removed by players, or * The ball owner makes a decision to pick up the ball However, next goal wins does not necessarily always take place after a match. If the Twats are believed to have been ahead before the end of normal time, the Twat players will generally walk off, giving the Noobs no chance to score any more goals. Cancellation There are rare ocurrences of a Noob Soccer game being cancelled. In most cases, this is due to the weather not being particularly favourable at lunchtime. Despite the weather, most Noobs are likely to be at the training court (at the netball ring) to await news from a staffmember regarding the Main Oval's accessibility. It is up to the staff to decide whether the oval is fit for any student to be crossing to. A Noob Soccer match will not, of course, be played if the Main Oval is closed due to weather. There are sometimes other reasons for the oval being closed - the groundskeeper may be reseeding the lawn, for example.